Scoping Out The Parking

Posted by Burtman on
Mar 28, 00:16.
March 28 2023, 12:16 am.

Updated:
Sep 11, 21:10.
September 11 2023, 09:10 pm.

Barcelona, ES

Read Time: About 6 Minutes

These days, there aren't many cities that aren't completely crammed with parked vehicles, leaving you almost no space to stop. On top of that, the few spaces that do exist are reserved for residents, local businesses and permit holders. None of which are you. So what do you need to do to get your head on that pillow, pronto?

Truth is, there's usually only one option, and that's getting the hell back out of the city and parking in the 'burbs.

The experienced travelers among us already knew that, and never found themselves pushing 3-5 ton rigs through the city in the first place. But I'm going to assume you're not one of them, or you wouldn't be reading this article.

But you came to see the city, not the suburbs, and you don't know your way around. I hear ya. But we both know you're not finding a place for that 20ft+ unit, so let's follow signs out of town and stop when the traffic thins out. You almost certainly have a navigator of some kind, so it won't be hard to find your way back into town in the morning, and there's almost certainly a bus, tram, underground or teleport that goes there. Heck, you might even have your trusty moped with you.

Q: So what's the problem?


A: Some cities are dodgy as.

Parking in the suburbs is a double-edged sword because there are far less people and the streets are much, much quieter. On one hand, there are less opportunist thieves about because there are far more people to pick-pocket and far more cars to target in the city. Plus it's much easier to get lost in a huge crowd and the cops aren't even going to bother looking for an average-build guy with average hair and a backpack. It just makes sense to hide in plain sight and leave the suburbs alone.

On the other hand, and I've seen this in person more than once, the quieter places often have less cameras and less potential witnesses, so they can be considered a safer bet for thieves. In reality, it doesn't seem to make much difference whether there are people around or not, because full-time thieves have as much practice making off with valuables and evading capture as us van-lifers have reading blogs and buying overpriced coffee.

It comes down to your gut feeling.

There's almost no definitive way to tell if you are likely to be targeted by thieves. They aren't going to hang around on street corners wearing hoodies and shooting each other shifty looks. Chances are, in the day time, they will be sleeping. They are essentially night-shift workers, after all. The only way to tell if your spot is safe is to go there at night and see how it feels.

Having said that, there are some things that you could look out for which might give you an indication of the area. What you might not notice could cost you everything.

Are there enough people around to make a theft attempt unlikely?


Career thieves look for specific things that show them opportunities to get away with something valuable. If there are people around, it's less likely anyone can break into your van without being seen. That's not necessarily going to stop anyone, as most people will do absolutely nothing to protect someone else's property, but it might provide some peace of mind.

What kind of vehicles are there in this area? Do they make you look rich or poor by comparison?


Sadly, the newer your vehicle, the more likely it is to be targeted, as a new vehicle says money. And equally sadly, the more expensive it's likely to be to repair the damage left by scumbags who steal things from delightful people like us. While you can't help how nice your new van looks, you can help where you put it, and if you're surrounded by bangers, your van is going to look like a tasty treat. On the other hand, if it looks like it was abandoned, someone might just want to take it for a joy ride. Aim to be just slightly less attractive than everyone else.

How far are you from the city center?


Typically, the closer you are to town, the more police presence you will see, and there should (in theory) be less crime because of it. Whether that is really true will depend on the place, but it doesn't hurt to have cops around if you want to leave your pride and joy unattended for any period of time, while you are out exploring. It certainly makes the exploration more fun if you aren't constantly worrying about what might be happening back at the van, as was my experience in Barcelona, a city of a thousand sights and a million thieves.

Are there street lights where you want to park?


If you're parking in a city at night, street lights are a must. In the shadows, your van is as good as open. Nobody wants to walk down the dark areas at night and nobody in their right mind is going to interfere with a crime in such a place. That gives thieves all night to work on your van, if they really want to, and where there's a will, there is most certainly a way.

What else can you see that could clue you in about the ruling mentality in this area?


If there's a lot of graffiti, litter, broken windows and abandoned cars, you might want to lock your doors and keep moving. Graffiti and litter demonstrate that the area is not well looked after and the residents don't respect property or community. That's pretty obvious to me, but take the chance if you want to. All I'm saying is this: I'm not leaving my van in the Bronx or any place that looks like it.

On the other hand, if your van stands out like a sore thumb amongst the Laborghinis, you might have trouble of another kind, in the form of narcissists who don't want the likes of you spoiling their view of themselves. Just kidding, but not really. A respectable looking neighborhood with a marked absence of beer-swilling corner-dwellers might be just the ticket.

Barred Windows


If every house looks like a prison, skip the rest of these cues and get the hell out of dodge.

Police Presence


As I mentioned earlier, this could be a good thing, but if the cop-to-civi ratio is a little OTT, there's a reason. Don't be the reason.

Scumbags Aside, What About The Cops?


There are some places where overnight parking is banned and can get you extremely heavy fines (should you choose to accept them*). It's usually fairly straightforward to find out where you can stay, but not always. A great resource for such information is a social network like Telegram or Minds, where people create groups for exactly such things. Asking in these groups can save you hours of searching and give you much more accurate and up-to-date answers than any aging article.

It's often the case that cops can't be bothered to enforce camping rules as long as you're not causing any problems - like playing loud music, having eight noisy dogs, or generally being inconsiderate. In most cases, they won't even take the time to pull over unless they actually see you because they know you can just pretend not to be inside the van and there's nothing they can do about it. But in some places, they're only too happy to tow you away without delay, so park at your own risk unless you know for sure what the rules are. To be fair, unless the entire city is out of bounds, there will usually be a sign on streets where campers are explicitly not allowed.

There's Always The Safe Option


As with so many things, this is a problem you can make go away by throwing money at it. I'm basing this article mainly on the idea that you want to park up somewhere that suits you, has a nice view, is convenient in some way, and costs nothing. But of course, we can't overlook the paid option, because for a few pennies (and it usually is quite cheap), you can often find a relatively peaceful camping ground with all the facilities you could need and the peace of mind that nobody will tell you to move on.

These places are usually staffed around the clock and most are gated and monitored for security. The security is well worth the money, especially if you only do it once in a while, and going out to explore the town on your bike without worrying if you're being robbed is a beautiful thing that can't be over-sold.

And What About Seclusion?


Go ahead. Park on the edge of the forest, near the road nobody ever uses. If you even see someone from one day to the next, they're probably a local farmer or retiree going on a nice walk, and they most likely pose as much risk to your van as the trees themselves (as long as they aren't falling down). But do take care not to park next to that one house with the oil-stained driveway, half a motorbike, and a graveyard for campers. You might have taken a Wrong Turn.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to enjoy your surroundings without worrying about your van all day long. So please, listen to your gut (and any advice you get from people who know the area) and move on if you're not completely happy with what they tell you.


Nope.


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