There are some funny ideas on the internet about how to make your van look unappealing to thieves, but like any good detective, you need to think like a thief to catch one (or in this case, to avoid one). While leaving boxing gloves and gun magazines on the front seat to worry would-be thieves might work in the movies, the reality is that thieves are rarely looking at such details and they don't usually stick around long enough for you to get your gloves on, anyway.

Speaking from experience, the glass breaks in a second and the thief is gone in five, with your laptop, Ray Bans and wallet. Chances are, you're not the first victim tonight and you'll never find the guy.

In most places where such crimes are common, the cops can't be bothered to do anything, as they know they're never
going to find the guy or your belongings, so filing a report is a genuine waste of everyone's time, unless you need a crime number for insurance reasons.

So What To Do?

Your best bet is to make sure you aren't parked in a place where such things are easy to get away with (see Scoping Out The Parking) and keep the cabin *completely* empty, so there's nothing even vaguely interesting to thieves.

You might have laptops and cameras in the living space, but most thieves won't waste time (and risk getting caught) looking for them. If there's nothing worth stealing in sight, there's a good chance they'll move on to the next car, where they can nab a phone or a wallet in two seconds and get away before anyone notices.

If they know you are thinking about them, they won't likely bother you. It's the stealth that gives them the upper hand and they know it. If you want to be extra unappealing, leave your glove box open and empty to show them that you don't keep anything in the van when you're not there. And if you want to be dramatic, a single spent cartridge on the seat is a nice touch.

Too much?